Proposal: Tips on How Not to Screw up your Proposal

Introduction

When we speak of a proposal we are speaking of a big moment in one’s life. As much as its a big day no one wants it to go wrong. No one wants to go through an elaborate speech surrounded by loved ones just to see their partner wincing with clenched teeth — or go through that kind of embarrassment.

The engagement ring is only part of the deal, though. A proposal is about the full package and presentation. If you want it to be one to remember (for good reasons!), you wanna take the appropriate measures beforehand.

For one, it’s best that you make sure your partner is on the same page before you start planning to get down on bended knee like Boys 2 Men. Use your words. Talk about the prospect of spending your lives together. Make sure they aren’t secretly planning on breaking up with you in, like, three weeks.

Once you’ve got an idea of your partner’s readiness for forever with you, it’s time to make it an unforgettable moment. Here’s a handy checklist to consult before asking to take her hand:

1.Know Your Partner’s Preferences

Consider their personality and what would make them comfortable. Some people prefer intimate settings, while others might like something more public.

2. Don’t fall for the parent trap

There was a time when it was expected that you’d ask your fiancée’s parents — particularly their father — for their child’s hand in marriage. It’s not necessary in modern times, but it doesn’t hurt to let their folks know what you’re planning. Since you’ll be combining families, it could be a nice gesture. Make sure you’re clear on your fiancée’s relationship with the parents. (If you’ve never met them or if they’re estranged, you can skip this step.)

3.Timing Is Key

Choose a moment that feels right. Avoid proposing during stressful times or major life changes.

4. Personal Touch

Incorporate elements that are special to your relationship—like a favorite place, inside jokes, or meaningful traditions.

5. Practice What You Want to Say

It doesn’t have to be a rehearsed speech, but having a few key points in mind can help keep you focused.

6. Ring Considerations

The idea of a ring on the left hand is set in stone — but it doesn’t have to be a diamond. Ask questions to find out if your partner prefers a birthstone or something else entirely. These days, there are countless options for customizable rings. If you’re buying a ring, try to subtly find out their style or get input from close friends or family.

7. Be Authentic

Speak from the heart. Share why you want to spend your life with them, and what they mean to you. This is where I say you apply the ‘Billy Walsh’ character….you know….being honest and expressing your opinions directly and not being two-faced.

8. Consider the kids

If your partner has children from a previous relationship, it’s essential to share your plans with them first — you’ll be their legal guardian once you get married, after all.

9. Know when less is more

Keep your proposal classy, short, and simple. No trivia contests or treasure hunts that snake around your home — this isn’t a Case music video(Happily Ever After). If you want a few people to be there, invite some friends and family to dinner (masks up!) and propose as part of a toast. If you know your lover is all about the big display, go for it. Not sure? Err on the side of caution and keep it intimate.

10. Be Prepared for Any Reaction

Understand that your partner might need time to think, even if they love you. Be ready for different outcomes.

11. Capture the Moment

If it fits your partner’s style, consider having someone discreetly take photos or videos to capture the memory.

12. Make it IG friendly

Let’s face it: These days, if it’s not on social media, it didn’t happen. Your partner may not be big on public announcements, but if you know your fiancée is going to drop that “I said yes” post on Instagram, make it fun. Go ahead and get that banner, bouquet of flowers and balloons, or a special IG setup that makes it feel like a moment. It can even be as simple as a Zoom background with a picture of the two of you. Say cheese, you crazy kids. Wait till you see how fun wedding planning is during a pandemic!

13. Stay Calm

It’s natural to feel nervous, but take deep breaths and remember that this moment is about your love.

14. Celebrate Together

After the proposal, have a plan for celebrating, whether it’s a private moment or sharing the news with friends and family.

15. Lastly :The Intro: Start off naturally

In your planning process, after completing all the steps of how to propose, you’ll need to mentally place yourself in the scenario you’ve created. For the purposes of your script, take the How, Where, and When of planning your proposal and start there. As an example:

How: Down on one knee because your partner is traditional in that way and you’re good with it(it’s also very cutesy)

Where: Choose a location both of you spent most of your dates together…. e.g. a park, a beach or a restaurant

When: Sunset on such-and-such date in the spring because your partner loves springtime and sunsets or even in the evening or at night full of stars.

So, combining all of that, your proposal script might start off very simply like this, slated to be spoken as you’re walking down the boardwalk to the sand at the beach:

”Remember when we came on that date here? I could really tell that you were in love with my charm, smile, and overall aura even that early on. It was really clear in your eyes…”

Good luck! It’s a beautiful step in your journey together!